Why I Like and Don't Like Hooters

I will say I don't like Hooters because of reasons that aren't so obvious. I'm not bothered by busty women clad in short shorts and tennis shoes serving sallivating men. I have a lot of respect for those women. Being a server is hard enough, so that can't be an easy job and I'm sure it's taxing not only physically, but mentally as well. I can't imagine having to sit down and flirt with men I'm not particularly fond of, or find attractive.

With that said, I am going to start with why I do enjoy Hooters. I don't eat at Hooters often. In fact, I have only sat down to eat there once. I enjoy chicken wings. I enjoy that man food. I enjoy that greasy, salty, cholesterol saturated mess because it's damn delicious and my tongue sings when I taste it. I don't care that it's deep fried in oil chicken wings, smothered in a mixture of hot sauce and butter. God, that's good. I digress...the point is that that is a delicious wing and though I don't eat it often, it is a sure treat when I do.

I wouldn't say the atmosphere at Hooters is too cozy. It's reminiscent of what would happen if a women's gym met a sports bar and bore a love child. It will do, though. I went there a whole year ago with a friend of mine and we shared a plate of wings and fries. She ordered a beer to wash it all down. I had water, *sigh*. Unfortunately, I hadn't reached the grand ol' age of 21 yet.

Our server was a beautiful brunette lady, buxom and spry. I am confident enough with my sexuality to say that yes she was beautiful, buxom, and spry. She was very nice, and it didn't seem forced, superficial, or fake at all. I can usually see right through superficiality, too. Either that, or she's a pretty damn good actress. I think for her, serving my friend and I was a nice break because she didn't have to go into flirt mode. She could be one of the girls for just a short moment in time. When we left, she even told us that we should come back on Sunday, for a football game.

"All these young, hot boys will be there," she said excitedly. Now this really tickled my fancy and titillated my hormonal insides. How else is a young, single gal in L.A. supposed to react to a statement like that? So it was nice that our server was relatable, she felt human, and she felt, well...almost like a friend.

Here's the real downside. After our nice meal, my friend and I decided to top off the meal and buy Hooters shirts, because we were so impressed with our experience. I decided to buy a T-shirt that was on sale for $9.99. Normally, the shirts cost $23.99, A week later, I looked at my bank statement and noticed that I had been charged $35.00 at Hooters for my T-shirt! I knew it wasn't from my meal, because I had paid for it in cash. They had basically charged me the sale price in addition to the normal price, which is why it cost $35.

I went back to the store to take it up with a manger. She took my name down and said that she would send it over to corporate and that they would give me a call. They never did call me and I never did get a chance to go back to that Hooters.

What could have been a 5-star experience for me turned out to be merely a 2.5. I had had all faith in Hooters, but it was slashed when I never got my money back. The shirt I own is now tainted with the memory. It doesn't say Hooters to me. It says $35 T-shirt. Maybe I'll come back again when I'm not a poor college student and money is no object.

Swindled! Hustled!

Here's a fancy pants trick to pull a fast one on your schoolmate brethren. Watch how a girl wins back her money, preying on the weak and cloudy-headed.

If you go to a commuter school, (which I do), you know that finding a parking spot is an elusive treasure hunt. It's a touch and go situation, where timing, strategy, and hunting, are used to track down a wary student and follow them to their car. Sometimes they'll catch your eye and tell you exactly where their car is, everything down to the type, color, maybe even year (from the car enthusiasts). Or if they're not leaving, just going to the car to refresh themselves, some are courteous enough to wave away the "I'm not leaving finger." Some understand that just a shake of the head means that the student is not leaving.

Conversely, some students will downright give you an evil eye. They might not acknowledge you. They press their greasy ears against cell phones to appear to look busy just so they can avoid you and your anxious need for a parking spot. Or as I see it these days, they talk into bluetooth devices now, which just makes you look crazy, in addition to being slightly bitchy. I've seen all and more of these types of things.

Yesterday morning, I was rushing to school. I had a family emergency to take care of and I left my home a little later than I needed to get to class on time. At my school, parking on the street is available, but there are zones that prohibit parking for more than few hours. So if you need to stay on campus for a long time, you have to park several blocks away. I decided to bypass parking on the street and to pay the ripoff price of $5 for a day permit on campus.

The problem with that was the fact that there was a gigantic car pileup so it was difficult to efficiently drive onto campus without long waiting times. I was already late by the time I arrived at the parking lot. Luckily, I tracked down a girl who was leaving. One of those "on-the-cell-I'm-busy-types" but I really didn't care. When I parked, I ran out of the car to a ticket vending machine to buy a permit when I hear "hey!"

After a few moments, I realized it was that same girl whose spot I had taken. She offered to let me buy her parking permit because she wasn't going to use it. I was already late, I was having trouble with my personal problems at home, I wasn't thinking straight. I decided to take her up on the offer. I only had a $5 bill but I said, brushing her off "Just keep it. I was going to pay five bucks anyway." She just let me have it for $4, so I received $1. As she pilfered through her powder blue wallet for change, I spotted a bulging amount of twenty-dollar bills. I guess it was a win-win situation, but in retrospect, that girl hustled and her win was greater. She basically got her money back for the permit she bought and I was down $4. What a smart bitch! This is an example of how the rich get richer and the poor stay poor in our so-called advanced and capitalist society. I was played like a fool. I have got to work on my hustling skills. I'll bet you're really loving capitalism now.